whiplash

whiplash from being pulled in all directions
reach out and retreat
rinse and repeat

my rollercoaster soul is trying to find true north 
while hanging upside down 
and looking sideways

center is a place I can find on a map
but not while swimming upstream
in turbulent waters
cold waters 
that numb my head and limbs
and cause me to breath 
to find my own thought patterns

somewhere in these scattered and disjointed thoughts 
is a path back to center
somewhere in the bottom of the river 
is the lever to stop the rollercoaster
or maybe it’s a lever to 
let the water finally 
flow through the dam

regulation and release
rinse and repeat
whiplash