my willingness to part with sadness
 is an equation with no solution 
  
 half forgotten teacher of madness
 release me from my pride 
  
 I’m  done thinking about 2+2=4
 I need a more solid and complicated formula
  
 derivatives, calculated risks, probabilities of success
  
 where will I end up at the end of this equation
 what’s the sum total of becoming a basket case
 or even worse 
 I could disappear and = 0
  
 or
 I can have some new proof, meaning, wholeness, truth, wisdom
 and the ability to receive it
  
 and all I have to do is give up my attachment to sadness and let go
  
 the math is easy
 but performing the calculation is not
  
 it’s a long and winding staircase that gets foggy as soon as you start climbing
  
 where will I find my faith?
  
 not in tears 
 but in counting them
 and the clarity that comes after them