Lost in utopia

The lizard has lost its manners and is pulling a grumpy scowl across its face
The blue flower strays lackadaisically in the wind
Tall towers stroke the sky

We’ve lost our minds but we haven’t yet lost the universe

A half formed thought streaks across the sky in plaid letters
What do the letters say?
We don’t know.
We’ve lost our language and misplaced all our punctuation.
We flow through abstract sequences, colors bleeding into other colors.
Inanimate objects tell us what to think
Until…

We finally hit our head
feel our own blood run down our forehead
and wake up.

shattered owl

shattered owl why do you weep so sweetly
attend to your broken feathers
that stick out like shards
waiting to cut
the next one to come near you

let your sorrow seep out slowly
not in a gust of words without mindfulness or compassion
or without kind attention to the strength of their candor

concatenated tears can be beautiful prisms in the moonlight
once you see the beauty in them
use their strength to heal your mournful yowl

there is strength in tears
but
pain does not need to be our proverb

Weekly Reading, May 31, 2021

Grief and Sorrow and how to Breakthrough

This week’s reading was done using the Voyager Tarot by James Wanless in which the 6 of Cups represents Sorrow. Sorrow is a result of an emptiness from the past which could be due to a reversal, a separation, or a loss. It is usually a deeper feeling for us than just being disappointed by something in our daily lives, sometimes its very deep and is even grief.

There are many views on how to overcome sorrow. Sorrow is not necessarily depression. Sorrow is attached to a specific event from our past that left us feeling empty, represented by the vase overturned with purple flowers of grief pouring out. We need to feel sorrow and process grief, but we can not stay there, and some of us have a very hard time letting go of sorrow. Its one of the main reasons we are attached to our past and cannot live in the present moment. We might feel that letting go of sorrow means we are ok with what happened to us to feel so empty.

This reading offers a strategy of changing your perspective on letting go of sorrow. On the one hand The Hanged Man can be referring to the reversal itself. But then for me the Breakthrough represented by the 7 of Worlds afterward does not make sense intuitively. The Hanged Man represents a transformation through a reversal or a different perspective, one could even say an upside down perspective. It is the possibility of achieving a breakthrough from sorrow in an unpredictable way, or we could say in a way you haven’t looked at or tried yet.

The Hanged Man achieves transformation through passive surrender and not forceful resistance. In order to achieve this breakthrough, this release, we must transcend the ego and achieve a greater connection with the universe, or a higher power. It is a gradual letting go of this sorrow to join the present moment, which is the only place we get to connect with the universe.

It sounds so simple, but may take study, perseverance, and patience to achieve. If this is a reading that speaks to you I encourage you to be patient with yourself, and start to learn what the Hanged Man perspective might be that will help you.

the empty room

 
he stared too long at her
so she turned the part of her heart
reserved for him to stone

he stayed away too long
so she let the fire
burn down
to a tiny flicker

he never said goodbye
but she didn’t feel him
haunting her anymore

and so she kept the empty cold stone room
for no one
not even for herself

math

 
my willingness to part with sadness
is an equation with no solution

half forgotten teacher of madness
release me from my pride

I’m done thinking about 2+2=4
I need a more solid and complicated formula

derivatives, calculated risks, probabilities of success

where will I end up at the end of this equation
what’s the sum total of becoming a basket case
or even worse
I could disappear and = 0

or
I can have some new proof, meaning, wholeness, truth, wisdom
and the ability to receive it

and all I have to do is give up my attachment to sadness and let go

the math is easy
but performing the calculation is not

it’s a long and winding staircase that gets foggy as soon as you start climbing

where will I find my faith?

not in tears
but in counting them
and the clarity that comes after them