snipers

The perpendicularity of numbers and the washing of rice

If I were a snowflake where would I fall?

It’s like totally fulfilled and totally unfulfilled at the same time

It’s like croutons on Raisin Bran it make no sense that’s too much fiber

It’s like saving the last dance for the one who will never show up, it’s pointless

It’s like sharpening a pencil that already sharp, it’s wasted

It’s like finding the crayon after finishing the whole picture after looking for soo sooo long, it’s just a big fucking heartbreak

How do you kill my heart?

One bullet at a time baby.

At this point in my mind there is a man asking me for substance

At this point in my mind there is a woman screaming for the truth

A this point in my mind there is a whole religion forming

At this point in my mind

Life is unnecessary

At the point of a bullet not yet fired in a gun not yet made mama

At this point in my mind there is a sliver of hope, that my young parts cling to for dear life

At this point I find that sliver and name it, and give it a voice and a purpose but I’ve forgotten my own

At this point I give in and quit

And at the same time release the pain of the past

And start a new life full of hope and reason

At this point in my life I dismantle the gun and smelt it down to a heart shaped monument to the truth

To beauty

To hope

To hopeful reality

At this point a breath

And the agony of fear

That I might slip again and lose it all

To the sniper

At this point

In my life.

Lost in utopia

The lizard has lost its manners and is pulling a grumpy scowl across its face
The blue flower strays lackadaisically in the wind
Tall towers stroke the sky

We’ve lost our minds but we haven’t yet lost the universe

A half formed thought streaks across the sky in plaid letters
What do the letters say?
We don’t know.
We’ve lost our language and misplaced all our punctuation.
We flow through abstract sequences, colors bleeding into other colors.
Inanimate objects tell us what to think
Until…

We finally hit our head
feel our own blood run down our forehead
and wake up.

stillness

stillness halts and lingers
ignoring the fantasy of truth
ignoring the framework of deception
and puts me on my guard

I cancel the stillness with an obscene amount of mental motion
my stillness feels like boredom
so I break its bonds
and think I’ve found freedom

but until stillness can be still
fleeing it only leads to an illusion of freedom
a sticky web of the subconscious
that knows what it wants but keeps forgetting
simple steps

be still everywhere
except your breath
be still-breath-be free

Be free of ugliness
of never ending cyclical motion

let stillness linger
find freedom

Finding Truth in an Empty Room

December 12, 2021 Reading Post

The Wild Unknown Archetype Oracle is one of my favorite non-traditional ways to explore messages through archetypes. Its divided into four categories of archetypes: The Selves, The Places, The Tools, and The Initiations.

One way to use this deck for a great weekly reading is to separate the cards into those four categories and draw one of each type to give you a focus for that week. The story I created through this practice this week is the story of how to find your truth. Lets begin!

We must first understand who what and where we are dealing with before we can put all of this together in one sentence.

WHO – The Unseen – The Unseen is the voice of the spirit, our unconscious, our ancestor that is trying to reach us through the fog. We can see that fog in this card, and we can hear/or see the message of the Unseen only when we can push past this fog. The Unseen is the clarity that is waiting for us to be able to hear and be present for. What is important next is to understand the tools and the place requred in order to clear this fog.

Where – The Empty Room – The Empty Room is a black box with nothing in it but yourself. No objects, no other people. Its hard to become comfortable with the idea of an empty room. We often think we need to fill it with things. But the only way to receive the message of the Unseen is to be able to connect with our present moment. To be able to sit in uncomfortable empty silence in order to receive this message. The Empty Room is both only us, and therefore all of us eternally connected through the present moment. Be in a place where nothing is in order to connect to everything, and therefore connect to the Unseen.

What – The Mirror – The Mirror is both a tool and a hindrance. In this scenario it is important to reflect long enough with just ourself to understand what we see when we look in the mirror. And then we need to put down the mirror and sit with ourselves as we are, and understand what we are distorting about that when we look in the mirror. The mirror helps us see those perceptions, but its important not to fall in love with that image, because it may not be the truth. See what’s in the mirror, then put it down and reflect on what is.

Why – Aletheia – The Whys, also called Initiations in this deck, are the big moments in life. They are things that change our life in big ways. Aletheia is a truth that fundamentally changes how you see yourself and the path you choose next. We know when we have found this truth because the room changes, what we see in the mirror changes, and it changes because we have connected with the Unseen and heard or seen this truth. It can come in the form of a story – when someone else tells us our truth and that makes us reflect and see our own in that sudden moment of clarity. It can be a conversation that changes the way we see something forever.

The Message – Step toward an Act of Truth by sitting in an Empty Room with the perception you have seen with The Mirror. The Unseen is trying to send you this truth, and it is for you to prepare yourself to be able to hear it. It may feel uncomfortable to sit this way, but once you find this message, you will find new footing in the world , and will be closer to telling your own story with peace and clarity.

With much love,

The Rambling Locksmith

The Point

Slogging across dewy fields of tall grass she faltered 
searching through mossy swamps
she got lost in the depths
of her own thoughts

She pierced herself on her own pointed arrow
that she spent a good amount of her life staring at and sharpening
with her mind

And she perished this way

And the world kept turning
and the grass continued to grow high
and confuse those who wandered through it

This angered her
how could she not be the key to the grass and the swamp and the arrow
how could she spend her life dedicated to slogging through these fields
and sharpening this arrow
when its point only directed her own path in the end

She was not the solution, she was only her solution
and this sorrowed her

She was missing something big
she had searched for that something big
until she perished and never found it
all the while not seeing that
all she had to do was……

look up.

The grass isn’t meant to be sorted through…its meant to grow
There is no secret in the swamp
The arrow is not the way.

You are part of the path only if you look up
and see that you are not the only one walking it

look to the stars to see this
look to link souls with other beings to learn this
until you learn this
stop sharpening your arrow
and look up.

the goal is not to have one

dreaming without sleeping 
faltering she fell
and yet she flew
and landed on a single petal

wind through her hair found
blinders for her eyes
and still she saw waves of madness
through the moonlight

the silence wasn’t really there
but she heard it
with words on the tip of her tongue
never spoken

breeze high
crouch low
see far
and hear nothing

Weekly Reading, April 11, 2021

This week’s cards come from The Wild Unknown Archetypes Oracle. You can read more about the tools I use on my tools of the locksmith page.

Reading from bottom to top we have the Archetype of the Mother, the source, the feminine. Next we have the Initiation of Thanatos, so pretty much death, and in this aspect of death we acknowledge its transformative nature, not just of the being that experiences the end of cycles, but for those who transition to a life without them. And last we have the Initiation of Anima Mundi, or the soul of the world, all that is, and the principle of Accept all, reject none. This last card relates well to the Universe card of the standard Tarot.

I spent a lot of energy this weekend delving into the world of Zen meditation. Trying to stay in the present moment using all of my senses, and connecting with myself as I am, which is in essence connecting with the universe. We can only make this connection when we are in the present moment, not when we are stuck in the past, and not when we are searching for the future.

I think this is what this week’s reading points to. We should acknowledge where we have come from, but release any power the past holds over us. We should hold hope for the future, but try to stay in the present moment. In doing so we can find our place in the Anima Mundi.

How will you try to stay in the present moment this week? Where you find your connection with the Anima Mundi?